Jesse Charger's "Soul Mates Formula" -- A Seriously Damaging Idea

I was browsing through my newsfeed today and I found something that I believe to be incredibly damaging to the psyche of any person stupid enough to go through with it.

Jesse Charger, a seemingly unethical and extremely conservative business man, has come up with a way to make women "be and do whatever you want." Basically the premise of this bullshit is to teach men with "no game" how to successfully pick up women and trick them into falling in love with them. 

These women are supposed to look a certain way, act a certain way, have sex with their partners a certain way and I hated every single second I spent reading it. For some reason I needed to read the whole damned sales pitch, but it was scary stuff.

I noticed a lot of talk about how normal women can be molded into a man's perfect mate -- she would be subservient sexually (as I noticed that there was little to no mention of indulging in her sexual fantasies, just those of the man), she wouldn't cause "drama" which I'm guessing means she doesn't have any of her own opinions on anything, and basically is just a hot housewife that is meant to carry on your genes for you.

UGH WHY DO THEY DO THIS TO ME/US

If this guide was more geared towards how to make yourself a better partner in a relationship, I wouldn't be as disgusted. I could even understand and sympathize with that. Relationships are hard, as we all know, and some people just aren't good at them. I can understand wanting to understand what it is that other people are looking for in a good partner, and wanting to emphasize those qualities or improve something in yourself to make that happen.

I hate how this asshole believes (or rather implies) that there's something wrong with the woman if a man is shot down in a social situation. In order for men to not get shot down by women, they have to trick women into finding them attractive or interesting or basically just not horrible human beings. He even seemed rather proud of the fact that this bullshit pseudo-science laden "guide" was helping old men attract university-aged women.

Dude also spends a lot of time talking about women as sexual objects, which I'm sure I don't need to tell you, but I have a HUGE problem with this. The whole "give her multiple orgasms so she doesn't cheat on you" deal is not a flattering position to hold on women. I can tell you from experience that that particular tactic doesn't do shit if the partner is a total asshat.

To sum up because I could keep going forever and we'd never get anywhere and have a decent conversation about the damaging effects this psychopath could have on society at large:

While I don't think that there is anything wrong with learning to date more effectively in order to find a suitable partner, the whole idea of molding someone into becoming your ideal match is a scary one. To me, love shouldn't be about changing someone to become what you want. That just straight up screams oppression to me (and isn't this kind of thinking what feminism has been trying to get rid of for decades?)  and isn't doing anything close to helping form healthy relationships. I think it's very telling that Charger has to put "THIS IS TOTALLY ETHICAL" so people will buy his product in multiple places throughout the sales pitch because it very clearly is not.

Teaching people to be better human beings capable of loving someone else and being loved, instead of having to trick people into loving you would be a better use of time and effort. I seriously hope that the testimonials on the webpage were made up because the alternative is far too frightening.

If you want to check out this psychopath's (aka Jesse Charger's) website/sales pitch, here it is: http://www.seductionscience.com/soulmates/

My Problem with Societal Expectations of Marriage

I'm gonna be totally honest here, I don't particularly care if I ever meet someone special and get married to them, have kids, etc etc. It would be nice I suppose if the opportunity ever arose, but at the moment I'm not particularly bothered either way. (Although given my dating history I want to stay single at least for a little while to kind of get to know myself and what I'm looking for a little better.)

I shared this on an iPhone app last night, and I was told that something was straight up wrong with me.

I am not okay with this.

This dude also told me that I was unlikely to ever enter into a relationship with a dude where we would be equals because, according to this nutbag, "guys don't like that." Apparently, men want girls who will "cuddle up to them and be small so we can be protective." 

I am also not okay with this.

The real thing that I have a problem with is that this guy told me that no man will want to be in an equal-partners relationship because "he'll be scared you'll up and leave one day because you don't actually need him."

I'm sorry, but isn't that a risk that everyone takes in relationships? A romantic relationship is inherently a risk -- the pair of you don't actually need each other to survive. It's just a bit nicer if you have someone by your side. You will not actually die without that person (although you might be lonely or sad or whatever).

Here's my thing: I don't ever want to be in a relationship where I feel like I'm less without that person. Right now, I'm perfectly happy and capable on my own. If I was to enter into an equal-partnership, it would be because being with that person makes my life a little brighter, more light-hearted as I do have a tendency to get pretty down on myself sometimes.

Another thing I don't understand: why are little girls taught to dream of their wedding day? Why is there an expectation that to get married is the best thing that could ever happen to you? I mean. I've never been married, and I'm sure it's great if my parents' relationship is any indication, but I don't like the idea that my (possible) wedding day will be the be-all-end-all best day of my life. I have other dreams that I want to pursue. 

I should probably mention that at a family function, just after I had been accepted to my dream university, several of my relatives told me to make sure that I got my M.R.S degree, if nothing else. Offended doesn't even begin to describe it.

Am I really only valuable to society as someone's wife? Am I not allowed to have achievements that have nothing to do with another person? Jesus Christ, my career is important to me, is that a bad thing all of a sudden?

Marriage is something that may or may not happen for me. I honestly don't care if it ever does. I feel that my life is full enough that I will be equally fulfilled regardless of my marital status, and I hope that everyone else can find this place as well.

***Note: I realize that this is written from a heteronormative perspective. As a cis-gendered straight woman, I have no other perspective to write from. I did my best to use gender-neutral language, but I cannot guarantee its perfection. Let me know and I'll change it.