My Thoughts on Science, Religion and Morality in General

I did something more or less stupid this past week: I engaged with the troll people in YouTube comments.

To be fair, it was a vlogbrothers' video, and that community tends to be more or less reasonable. Imagine my dismay to find out they actually weren't! On this topic anyway.

If you have seen the video or haven't, it doesn't really matter for my discussion. John Green discussed how most people, religious or not, are essentially nihilists that in some way or another are looking to create meaning in their lives and the lives of others. I expect that most of us can agree with this statement. He also pointed out, that to him, the existence of a higher power itself was much less important than the question "How can I make my life worthwhile?" I agree wholeheartedly with this point.

Before we can go any further with my own experience, I'll briefly get into my own world view. I am not religious, nor was my upbringing. I was baptized Roman Catholic and I did attend Catholic school up until I went to university, but largely that experience helped me lose my somewhat lackadaisical faith. I distinctly remember the day that I realized I didn't believe in a Catholic god: we were discussing the afterlife in Religion class, and my own view is that souls may go elsewhere or they may be reincarnated if whatever lesson they were meant to learn wasn't totally learned. I was told in no uncertain terms that this was wrong and against the faith. Because I have a tiny bit of a problem being told what to do, I decided screw you guys, if you can't accommodate me, I'll find someone else who can. I flirted with the concept of Hinduism and Buddhism for a while, but after taking a World Religions course, I came to the understanding that all religions teach essentially the same morals, and they should all be respected.

Despite being more spiritual or even secular than religious, I still have an immense amount of respect for other people's faiths. Just because organized religion doesn't work for me, doesn't mean it isn't valuable to someone else.  I have a lot of friends who are religious, and a lot of friends who aren't.

Now, back to why I decided to feed the trolls. Based on the video and others that are similar, the Greens have never expressed that they were religious or not. People have been trying to figure this out forever (although I can't see why -- it has no bearing on the content they put out) and have more or less concluded that they aren't religious. Someone even said, in the comments, that "they are not religious. They are smart men."

I'm sorry, but that's too far. Intelligence (and the pursuit of scientific knowledge) and faith are not mutually exclusive. You can't say that people who believe in a higher power are stupid and behind the times. There are plenty of famous scientists who were religious and made huge efforts forward. Sir Isaac Newton, Louis Pasteur, Gregor Mendel, Sir Francis Bacon, Gottfried Liebniz and Michael Faraday were all religious men, just to name a few! Sir Isaac Newton is the father of classical physics and calculus (well, him and Leibniz on the calculus front). A good chunk of what we know today is due to Newton's contributions. To say that religious people are unable to contribute to the scientific world is untrue, unfair and incredibly ignorant.

The reason some people may think that science and religion have to be juxtaposed with each other is that the ordinary, perfectly reasonable religious people do not automatically come to mind. We tend to think of religious fundamentalists and those insane New Earth Creationists before we think of any of my teachers from when I was in Catholic school. Fundamentalists are not a good representation of the religious population (doubly so for Islamic jihadists - a lot of what they're doing goes against the Qu'ran, or so I've been told. Not being a Qu'ranic scholar myself, I can't say).

Science and religion do not need to be mutually exclusive at all. There is only so much that science is currently able to explain. I believe the universe was created by way of a big bang, but something had to set it off. I don't know what, but quite frankly I don't care. Like John Green said, that isn't the important question.

My Problem with Societal Expectations of Marriage

I'm gonna be totally honest here, I don't particularly care if I ever meet someone special and get married to them, have kids, etc etc. It would be nice I suppose if the opportunity ever arose, but at the moment I'm not particularly bothered either way. (Although given my dating history I want to stay single at least for a little while to kind of get to know myself and what I'm looking for a little better.)

I shared this on an iPhone app last night, and I was told that something was straight up wrong with me.

I am not okay with this.

This dude also told me that I was unlikely to ever enter into a relationship with a dude where we would be equals because, according to this nutbag, "guys don't like that." Apparently, men want girls who will "cuddle up to them and be small so we can be protective." 

I am also not okay with this.

The real thing that I have a problem with is that this guy told me that no man will want to be in an equal-partners relationship because "he'll be scared you'll up and leave one day because you don't actually need him."

I'm sorry, but isn't that a risk that everyone takes in relationships? A romantic relationship is inherently a risk -- the pair of you don't actually need each other to survive. It's just a bit nicer if you have someone by your side. You will not actually die without that person (although you might be lonely or sad or whatever).

Here's my thing: I don't ever want to be in a relationship where I feel like I'm less without that person. Right now, I'm perfectly happy and capable on my own. If I was to enter into an equal-partnership, it would be because being with that person makes my life a little brighter, more light-hearted as I do have a tendency to get pretty down on myself sometimes.

Another thing I don't understand: why are little girls taught to dream of their wedding day? Why is there an expectation that to get married is the best thing that could ever happen to you? I mean. I've never been married, and I'm sure it's great if my parents' relationship is any indication, but I don't like the idea that my (possible) wedding day will be the be-all-end-all best day of my life. I have other dreams that I want to pursue. 

I should probably mention that at a family function, just after I had been accepted to my dream university, several of my relatives told me to make sure that I got my M.R.S degree, if nothing else. Offended doesn't even begin to describe it.

Am I really only valuable to society as someone's wife? Am I not allowed to have achievements that have nothing to do with another person? Jesus Christ, my career is important to me, is that a bad thing all of a sudden?

Marriage is something that may or may not happen for me. I honestly don't care if it ever does. I feel that my life is full enough that I will be equally fulfilled regardless of my marital status, and I hope that everyone else can find this place as well.

***Note: I realize that this is written from a heteronormative perspective. As a cis-gendered straight woman, I have no other perspective to write from. I did my best to use gender-neutral language, but I cannot guarantee its perfection. Let me know and I'll change it.