I'm gonna be totally honest here, I don't particularly care if I ever meet someone special and get married to them, have kids, etc etc. It would be nice I suppose if the opportunity ever arose, but at the moment I'm not particularly bothered either way. (Although given my dating history I want to stay single at least for a little while to kind of get to know myself and what I'm looking for a little better.)
I shared this on an iPhone app last night, and I was told that something was straight up wrong with me.
I am not okay with this.
This dude also told me that I was unlikely to ever enter into a relationship with a dude where we would be equals because, according to this nutbag, "guys don't like that." Apparently, men want girls who will "cuddle up to them and be small so we can be protective."
I am also not okay with this.
The real thing that I have a problem with is that this guy told me that no man will want to be in an equal-partners relationship because "he'll be scared you'll up and leave one day because you don't actually need him."
I'm sorry, but isn't that a risk that everyone takes in relationships? A romantic relationship is inherently a risk -- the pair of you don't actually need each other to survive. It's just a bit nicer if you have someone by your side. You will not actually die without that person (although you might be lonely or sad or whatever).
Here's my thing: I don't ever want to be in a relationship where I feel like I'm less without that person. Right now, I'm perfectly happy and capable on my own. If I was to enter into an equal-partnership, it would be because being with that person makes my life a little brighter, more light-hearted as I do have a tendency to get pretty down on myself sometimes.
Another thing I don't understand: why are little girls taught to dream of their wedding day? Why is there an expectation that to get married is the best thing that could ever happen to you? I mean. I've never been married, and I'm sure it's great if my parents' relationship is any indication, but I don't like the idea that my (possible) wedding day will be the be-all-end-all best day of my life. I have other dreams that I want to pursue.
I should probably mention that at a family function, just after I had been accepted to my dream university, several of my relatives told me to make sure that I got my M.R.S degree, if nothing else. Offended doesn't even begin to describe it.
Am I really only valuable to society as someone's wife? Am I not allowed to have achievements that have nothing to do with another person? Jesus Christ, my career is important to me, is that a bad thing all of a sudden?
Marriage is something that may or may not happen for me. I honestly don't care if it ever does. I feel that my life is full enough that I will be equally fulfilled regardless of my marital status, and I hope that everyone else can find this place as well.
***Note: I realize that this is written from a heteronormative perspective. As a cis-gendered straight woman, I have no other perspective to write from. I did my best to use gender-neutral language, but I cannot guarantee its perfection. Let me know and I'll change it.
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